A word fitly spoken is like
apples of gold in a setting of silver.
Proverbs 25:11
What happened next felt like a physical hit to my body. I actually had to sit down on the floor in the middle of the wine and spirits store.
I was staring at champagne options, while running low on patience and high on attitude. My husband was on his way home from a business trip and we had a family date night planned around carbohydrates and Mario Kart. It was time to cheers and bid this long, frustrating week adieu.
But when the screen in my hand illuminated, every smug, entitled bone in my body crumbled. “You (accidentally) sent this to me.”
Now, it’s important to understand that I’m the self-appointed ambassador for a video messaging App called Marco Polo. My slogan is simple: This is the future of both our friendship and the world. If you care about either, we shall meet me here as often as needed. Don’t call me; don’t text me; polo me.
Created for people who:
- Would rather speak in a mere 20 seconds what could take a multi-tasked eternity to type
- Have been badly/repeatedly burned by autocorrect
- Have no concern about wearing yesterday’s clothes
- Prefer to let the tone in their voice and look on their face relay what emoji’s are still lacking in comprehensiveness
The concept is simple: instead of typing a message you send a video recording of yourself.
Amazing.
Except when it is the worst thing that has ever happened to mankind.
Earlier that day, a very good friend sent me a Polo about her own crazy life. Normally, I live for this stuff, laughing right along with the shenanigans of my tribe, but I was a woman out of rope. So, instead of encouraging or even commiserating with her, I shot a video off to another friend, where I freely – even cruelly – ranted about the other.
Annnnnd…. you already know what happened next.
(Try to breathe out.)
I know. I deserved every piece of that humble pie direct-delivered to my plate.
But I’m not baring my soul here to entertain yours.
In that moment, and the days that followed, I cast a deep gaze into myself, perhaps deeper than ever before. Grounded and embarrassed by my own actions, the truth my words revealed about my person had cracked something in me, and I began the painful work of scraping off the blinders, layer by layer.
I am not a gossip — far from one, actually. My love language is “Words of Affirmation”, and, indeed, we tend to give to others what we crave. In ministry, I’m a trusted source for the hearts of many. But, as I began to consider EVERY word that left my mouth, the pounding simplicity of the Father’s message overcame me:
YOU ARE NOT THE EXCEPTION.
It does not matter if you are:
- Right or Entitled
- Accidental or Purposeful
- Sarcastic or Sincere
- Exhausted or Vulnerable
- Caught or Scott-free
Regardless of your intent (noble or nefarious)…
YOUR WORDS ALWAYS HAVE CONSEQUENCE.
YOUR words. ALWAYS.
What if your recent coffee date conversation was made available for all to hear? What if your text messages were sent to the people you referred to in them? And (this is big) when you make a promise to keep a confidence, what choice group of people do you automatically exclude from that rule (for all the right reasons, of course)?
The “What would Jesus Do?” movement hits us harder when we consider, “What would I do if Jesus were my witness?” As if a survival technique, we nonetheless jettison the accountability of an omniscient Father, regularly overruling our conscience as we remain convinced that we are the exception.
Had that video message not been incorrectly delivered… no harm, right? It was innocent, after all. It wasn’t the content but the getting caught that caused all the pain. No doubt, just reading about it, you felt the kick for me/for her. But being caught is not—and should not be—what holds us accountable. Seen or unseen by those around us, we will answer for our actions.
The Bible does not mince words about our words.
James, the brother of Jesus, dishes up that “Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” James 1:26 Ouch.
Bringing to light the massive importance of a concept we’ve made a career out of depersonalizing is a lot for our hearts to manage. So let’s get our feet wet with just a few of the pointed verses in just one book of this great big Bible—Proverbs:
- There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. 12:18
- Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin. 13:3
- The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly. 15:2
- A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. 15:4
- Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. 18:21
- Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him. 29:20
And here we are. Far, far, far from who we’re called to be, we’ve become the very people we are warned against.
But here’s the most beautiful, hopeful, flip: Proverbs also says,
“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” 25:11
So there we have it. Our words have power. YOUR words. Bad and Good. A power accessed as efficiently as filling air into our lungs.
In the end, I wore a robe of responsibility for my actions and received the kind of genuine forgiveness that reinforces how hard I want to intentionally fight for my friends. But this is a lesson that continues to change me, one word—spoken or curtailed—at a time.
Harness the power of your voice. Shock people with the integrity of your tongue and what it can accomplish. For good.
And then rest in this most steadfast confidence, “Every word of God proves true; He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him.” Proverbs 30:5
For more about the sacred power of the words we never even say:
