Matthew 7:3 And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?
Whew. This is a hard one for me. I’ve been stewing over this verse for a couple of weeks now.
Sometimes a mirror is the last thing we want; yet, I feel like I’ve been in a room clad with mirrors from floor to ceiling recently, and I can’t avoid seeing myself for who I really am. Turns out, a big thing I struggle with is being judgmental. But you know what they say about misery… and, I think, on this particular issue, I happen to be in good company.
Wow, we are a very judgmental people — even when we’re at our best.
But why?
We can’t see the log in our own eye, because we feel justified in having it there to begin with.
Think about it. If we are angry, unforgiving, lying, hypocritical, [insert your own inadequacies, there are just a few more options]… we often believe we have a very GOOD REASON to be that way. Our personal circumstances clearly warrant it, after all, right?
For instance, I have been wronged by people whom it’s taken me absolute ages to forgive, because I felt my hurt justified my anger. Or times when I’ve wallowed in my bad attitude because I’d been beat down with disappointments. Days when I’ve been downright rude because someone was being a jerk to me. The list goes on. And in every circumstance, at least for a time, I felt my actions were totally justifiable.
That, my friends, is a log in my own eye. The kind of log I carefully choose, chop down, wedge deep, and relish in holding on to. It’s often so long and wide I practically whack people over as I carry it around. But I like it, I get used to it and learn to work around this self-induced handicap. Because MY circumstance makes my log necessary.
Now consider the flip side. Why are we so fast to justify our own log, but condemn those around us for their speck (or, let’s be real, sometimes they legit have big old logs, too).
Try as we may, if we aren’t personally living out the circumstance, we just can’t fully understand it. EVEN when it involves things we’ve been through, ourselves, in the past.
Take something simple like having the flu… When you see someone sick and miserable you’ll probably feel badly for them. But if you don’t have that flu, too, despite having had a flu loads of times in your own life, you just can’t remember how absolutely horrible it feels to be that sick. When you are healthy, it’s very hard to accurately remember how it feels to be unhealthy. So your ability to relate runs out. How often do we really empathize?
Here’s another example that always hits close to home for me. If one more grandmother tells me that I need to enjoy every second of my kids right now because the time goes by so fast…. (uh oh, I sense another log coming on)….well, here’s the deal: I know they’re right about time going fast and I’m aware of wanting to slow down and enjoy many more precious moments with my boys, but, seriously people, you have forgotten just how hard some of those moments can be. You have romanticized sleepless nights, temper tantrums, dirt, public humiliations…. And you’ve romanticized them because, although you lived it, you aren’t in the moment now and have forgotten how hard it was at the time.
And we ALL do these things. We want others to “buck up”, be more kind, be tolerant, be forgiving, be humble, be whatever. We see them screwing up and judge them for it. We don’t give them the benefit of the doubt because we are lacking the first-hand knowledge as to why they feel that their log/speck/splinter is fully justifiable. And sometimes their log is even there because of you. But I’d hate to step on your toes by pointing that one out…
We are a highly messed up people. But here’s the good news:
Grace abounds.
My logs will come out. Some faster than others, but, little by little, I am dealing with my inadequacies. And the Lord is patient and forgiving. And the same grace abounds for that best friend who just got under your skin… all the way right on down to our greatest enemy who, in your opinion, deserves the death sentence. That’s why we have to dig deep and find compassion for those around us who have short comings. Not only because we have them too, but because His grace is sufficient for us ALL.
