He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Psalms 147:3
My mom is one of the strongest-broken people I’ve ever met. Her childhood was not sugar plum fairies. In school, she was the tall awkward skinny girl. (something I relate to rather well) Kids can be cruel. For some reason, they particularly enjoyed being cruel to her.
But one day she got a new dress. A beautiful yellow one that she was very proud to wear. THIS was going to be a good day at school. For once, she felt pretty.
In class, the teacher had an exercise planned for the students. They would take turns standing in front of the room, each one pulling a folded piece of paper from a box, and they were to say what they would do if they were the “______” they’d been given. One kid after another had their turn.
Being a shy girl, it was hard for my mom to stand in front of the room – commanding all attention on her. She dipped her hand in to find her assignment and pulled her word from the bunch.
The tiny slip read:
Pencil.
The irony was too perfect. Staring at this tall, frail girl, with knobby knees, wearing a yellow dress, the class began to laugh uncontrollably.
She looked at that paper as the heat of her tears began to fill her sweet blue eyes. And she quietly said, “If I were a pencil, I would erase you all”, and ran out of the room.
People suck.
The world is full of brokenness because there are many PEOPLE who have done the breaking. Naturally, we focus on our pain – our undeserved suffering. But, for a change of pace, I hope we can be honest with ourselves, as sometimes WE ARE the ones to blame.
Who have you left bruised when you were the one deserving to be “erased”?
The Bible says, “He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.” Forgiveness is a key ingredient to that healing. But forgiving someone who isn’t sorry can make the road to restoration much longer. God wants to USE US to help “bind up wounds.” Taking responsibility for your actions, is a very good place to start.
And it’s not simple. Most of our adult interactions do not amount to the unfounded malicious behavior of a middle schooler. So often, we’ve hurt someone because they’ve hurt us. We’re good at volleying hurt like it’s a ball in a sport and are indignant when we’re justified in our cruelty.
I’ve been down that hard road of contacting a friend from long ago to take responsibility for my own regrettable actions. And you know what? Sometimes the thing I know I need to say “I’m Sorry” for is SO INCREDIBLY MINOR, but there’s a pang in my heart that won’t let it go.
Often it’s the nagging memory of a past grievance that won’t leave you alone, when God is trying to use you to help Heal the Brokenhearted.
Being “sorry” is taking responsibility for you. It has nothing to do with anything anyone else has done. Lay your pride down. Forgiveness – both giving and receiving – is an incredible thing. It’s one of the most underrated actions in all of mankind. Great strength, freedom, humility and integrity are its fruit.
It’s a simple choice, really….Do you want to be RIGHT or do you want to be RECONCILED?
(hint: being “right” is not only lonely, it’s rarely what you actually are)
Good stuff, my friend, good stuff.
(but you are one person who’s probably never hurt so much as a fly. Love you!)
Another wonderful writing!
Thank you for taking the time to read!
Although I knew what was coming today, I was surprised at the sadness that bubbled up as I read it. I remember the dress. I remember my fleeting moment of feeling pretty, which was very rare for me. And, I remember all to well, the feeling as I heard the laughter. The worst part of the event was that school wasn’t over and I had to go to my next class with many of the same kids who laughed. The snickers continued for days. The sadness I feel rereading the blog isn’t for the skinny girl in the yellow dress, it’s for the hundreds of kids who go to school every day knowing they will be ridiculed and will be made to feel ugly and small. Jesus (and Daddy) healed my heart, but so many people grow up without Christ’s healing balm and never fully recover from the hurts of life. Tears, once again are burning my “sweet blue eyes”. (smile) But these are tears of gratitude to the great healer mixed with tears of sadness for those kids who are living with abuse and bullying. Perhaps it is because of the healing I’ve had from the “day I wore the yellow dress” that I now wake up every morning able to love my beautiful yellow bedroom! My goodness the Lord good at what he does!
Mom, let’s just go find those kids. I get so angry thinking about people hurting you. But then, I think about all the people who hurt me and I realize we are built to withstand a lot. AND THAT helps as I think about all the people I’ve surely hurt in my life. I’m glad that God takes care of hearts and not me. (because we all know there is a “fat cow” or two that might need a “conversation” – and to those reading this and thinking I’m off my rocker, let me just say, my mom is the greatest champion of her kids there is!). Thank you for allowing me to share something so personal to you. Your life is filled with stories that the world needs to hear. I, for one, certainly hope they get to!
I feel a pang in my heart every time I recall this story! At first, you get angry- and then realize you’ve caused someone, at some point, the same amount of pain…even if it wasn’t about a yellow dress.
My mom would be the first to tell you: I am guilty of not saying sorry enough- and ALSO not being contrite enough when those words leave my mouth. Thank goodness the Lord gifted me with a sister, who is quick to forgive and ask forgiveness- which was no mistake, I’m sure…all my weaknesses tend to be her strengths 😉
She is my constant reminder that reconciliation is for the heart & soul, not for just the constraints of social etiquette.
It’s so odd how the tiniest phrases are the most impactful.. “I love you”, “I’m sorry”, “I forgive you”….!
Darling Rachel, you are one of the strongest women I’ve ever met. And your skills with speaking your heart are a quality I admire so greatly. With that kind of gift comes a lot of challenges for restraint, but my experience with you is that you love BIG. You speak life and truth, as you tell it like it is. You have whit and gentleness – a combination not easily attained. But I hear you, sometimes we need a good reminder that saying those “simple” words are incredibly important. I love that you are able to hear the Lord say something to you and take it seriously. THAT shows how available to Him you really are. Now go hug your sister – she’s dealt with a lot! haha!
Thanks for sharing! Heather and Trish! <3
Anytime, Debra Jean. Anytime =) (love you!)