Finding your “NESS”.

The heart of man PLANS his way, but the Lord ESTABLISHES his steps.  Proverbs 16:9

 

NEWS FLASH:  YOUR PURPOSE IS FOUND IN THE KINDS OF PLACES THE WORLD DIDN’T TEACH YOU TO SEARCH.

To quote a favorite movie of mine, “You, Me & Dupree”, you need to find your “Ness”.

I, for one, can tell you that my Heatherness is not found anywhere near the confines of my resume… Honestly, how much of what we are TRULY GREAT at do we bullet-point on that cream sheet of watermarked paper?

• Eye for the perfect lampshade
• Conversation igniter extraordinaire
• I kick laundry in the butt
• Label making, de-cluttering (because-your-basement’s-still-your-home) work all day till it’s done — organizing machine!
• Expert listener
• Take the shirt off my back and I’ll buy you a second one in another print
• Won’t stop until I find the perfect paint color
• [insert all of your crazy “wonderful-NESS” here]

Our best and most valuable parts are often the least celebrated.

Why is this??

It’s high time to radically rethink how we define ourselves.  Throw out the old “value system” and embrace who we’re ACTUALLY called to be… in all the unexpected, illogical, hard-to-define, inexplicable ways that we’ve been individually created.  There we’ll find our passions, gifting, vision and PURPOSE.

A part of my NESS recently snuck up on me.  I started to realize it in small doses, but I’m now marveling at how deep and wide it’s become.

Entertaining: it’s our thing.  From the moment our supposed one-year stint in Europe began, we became the place for friends and family to visit in record numbers.  But Steve would have to say to me time and again, “It’s a marathon, Heather Lynn, not a sprint”.

I’d get so busy making sure my home was spotless and adorned with fresh flowers and homemade treats, by the time the guests arrived, I was already bordering exhaustion.  Steve’s advice was right-on, however hard, for that type-A wife of his.

Thirteen years later, hosting people is still what I do.  In the meantime, I’ve learned a lot about grace for others and for myself.  Today, there is rarely a day in the week without someone, if not many someones, in my home.  Our guest room is in regular rotation; our Jura machine, steaming out lattes like an Italian espresso bar.

Unexpected relationships have been formed in our house through the likes of laughter, tears, cocktails and sushi.  And the peace of the Lord resides here waiting for the next unplanned adventure.  So I wait, too.

But the part that has grown in a way that’s stolen my breath – the piece that I can only define as my NESS –  is how I rarely have to ask anyone to come.  They ask me.

And, what’s more, over and over I prepare a place for people I know nothing about.  Whether it’s hosting for church, work or other friends, strangers ring my doorbell and within MINUTES of the shoes coming off, friendships have already been forged.

A few years ago, a couple arrived from Tennessee.  I needed a very specific friend at that time in my life.  God knew it, and I’d been praying for it.  He reached His hand down into the US and brought Julie to my doorstep like an AirExpress package with a bright red bow.  To this day, she’s one the best things that’s ever happened to me.  I’ve met many of my greatest friends in similar ways.

A couple recently asked if they could come spend some time with me.  “Of course!” Though I had no idea why they wanted to drive an hour to have a coffee with someone they only knew a little.  They sat down on my sofa and started sharing intimate details of their past.  Some of it was hard to hear and much of it brought up tears from the wells of my soul.  The entire time I sat listening with my ears, but thinking in my heart, “God, here You are doing it AGAIN, teaching me HUGE lessons from the comfort of my living room.  Creating change in me… change in them.”

Whether the name of God is spoken loudly, tearfully or carefully, or if the faith of my family never enters the conversation, the Father planned our time and walked through it with us.  The “Pixy dust” chez Yoder sticks to you like glue and gets into your pockets and nose.  And it changes lives, atmospheres & attitudes.

I have a calling.  It’s the kind of thing I have yet to figure out how to memorialize on my resume.  It’s hard to explain to anyone else.  It’s not something I asked for, but it was created to work perfectly with who I am and what I know how to do best.  It’s been grown and nurtured through tantrums, trials and celebrations.  It’s about “MY heart planning my way as THE LORD establishes my steps” (Prov 16:9).  It’s my Heatherness.

Think about your “Ness”…

What is a second nature thing you do, but have too often overlooked?  It could be as simple as having a unforgettably firm handshake or as admirable as easily forgiving others.  If you can’t figure it out, ask someone you trust.  Chances are, those around you see your best bits more easily than you.

It may, initially, be hard to describe, but that’s OK.  The Father gets it, and He’s been establishing your steps for a long time.  When you open your eyes to the ministry He’s designed for you and learn to wrap your arms around it, HE’LL DO SO MUCH MORE.  As He does, you’ll marvel at – and not hide behind – the greatness He’s designed you to be.

No apologies.  No limits.  No judgments.  Just YOU-NESS.  It’s surprisingly easy to do well because it’s what you most naturally produce!

Now I must excuse myself because, I kid you not, there is an unexpected “tap-tap” on my door…  ♥