Talking Truth about Lies. (Commandment #9)

 “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.

Exodus 20:16

 

Seinfeld is always good for laughs.  But the George Costanza’s of the world best beware…

Ground Rules for today:

1. What is the point of this commandment?:  It forbids speaking falsely on any matter, lying, equivocating, and in any way devising or designing to deceive your neighbor. – Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary
2. Who is Satan?:  “…He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for HE IS A LIAR AND THE FATHER OF LIES.“  – John 8:44
3. What does it mean to lie?:  To make an untrue statement with intent to deceive. – Merriam-Webster Dictionary
4. Are you a liar?:  YES, you are.

It’s everywhere, everyday, from everybody — We. Are. Surrounded.

Lies from our HEADS:

• I’m not pretty
• I can’t make it through this day
• I’m not good, valuable, smart…

Lies from the WORLD:

• News
• Industry
• Hollywood
• Advertisers lie to us all the time.  In fact, many big named companies have argued IN COURT that, not only do their ads NOT have to be factual, but only a pushover would think they actually are.  For instance, when Coca-Cola started marketing Vitaminwater as a “boost to your immune system” the critics debated that it’s essentially sugar water.  Coke responded, “No consumer could reasonably be misled into thinking that Vitaminwater is a healthy beverage.”

Lies from our FRIENDS:

• “We’d love to come, but…”
• “You know I’d never tell a soul…”
• “You have a zit on the end of your nose?  I didn’t even notice!”

Lies from our FINGER TIPS:

• Texts
• Dating websites
• Resumes
• Emails

Lies from our MOUTHS:

• “White lies”
• lies with good intentions
• lies to protect yourself
• lies to protect someone else
• lies to entertain
• lies to fix our lies

And, on the whole, those kinds of lies are the “easy” ones.  Most people accept and dismiss them without much drama or pain.  We anticipate there will be a certain level of untruth mixed into just about everything.  (how did we get here?)  But deceit, slander and gossip are a slippery slope.

Jesus said this:

“I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for EVERY CARELESS WORD they speak.”  Matthew 12:36

Does that scare you?  It should.  It scares me.

Just yesterday I was talking with a good friend over tea.  She asked me an innocent, but loaded question about someone else we both know.  I knew the answer she was looking for, and I knew it would lead us down a bad road.

Having this commandment on my mind that day, I felt convicted immediately.  You wouldn’t believe how much I struggled to answer her truthfully and still protect our friend.  I stumbled over my words like an untrained idiot.  I looked stupid, she felt stupid, and I still did a rather poor job of avoiding a sin.  Lying would have been easier.

And it would have made for a juicy conversation – funny and innocent – no one would have really gotten hurt… THAT’s the problem.  It’s so easy to justify our lies.  

While this is me being painfully honest with you, it likely strikes a chord with you.  I am certainly not alone.

And here I’d thought I was one of the good guys…  I’ve been in deep practice over this commandment for a long time.

Once, in a long painful process, I became so convicted of something I had lied about at my work, that seven years after having left that position, I contacted my boss.  It was a job I’d done over-archingly well.  A job of which I had been proud.  I reasoned with the Lord for months that coming clean on such minutia was ridiculous.  And what could I possibly change now?  But it pounded on me relentlessly.  I knew that I had to accept that my behavior had been wrong, confront it, and ask for forgiveness.  It took everything in me to follow through, definitely one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.  My boss forgave me, but, surely, his opinion of me changed forever.  It still breaks my heart.  But that’s my fault.  Not God’s.

It wasn’t until years later that I understood why the Lord had me do it.  That’s when I cried harder in the face of the grace of God than I did on the day I’d been so humbled.

Researchers say we lie between 10 and 200 times a day.  Most of it comes so naturally we don’t even realize we’ve done it.  Sin is scariest when we’ve lost the conscious to deal with it.

People do things in “malice” for all manner of reasons – jealousy, misunderstanding, religion, naivety and hate, to name a few.  We’ve all seen an opportunity to hurt to someone and taken it.  At some point, we’ve all been to blame.

Yet it’s the “smaller” stuff we most regularly justify:  underhanded comments, stretching the truth, sharing secrets that aren’t ours, placing unfair blame and deceitful gossip — lies, all dressed-up and “justifiable”.

“But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.  For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander…”  Matthew 15:18-20

So I ask myself, what does my mouth indicate about my heart?  I’ll warn you, picking up this mirror is particularly harsh.  Paradoxically, however, we should be FILLED WITH HOPE when we do.  Because that is the exact moment that God is giving us power to open our eyes and break a cycle in our lives.

Like so many of you, more than any other character trait, I desire to be known as a person of INTEGRITY.  What exactly is integrity?:

The quality of being honest. 

On that note, I’ll be honest with you right now.  After all this self reflection, I feel like I need to stop and pray.  And we know what the Bible says about 2 or more gathering together in His name… feel like joining me?

Father, I want my words to bring LIFE as I endeavor to reflect You in the things that I say.  Use the Holy Spirit to sharpen my instincts to do these things naturally.  Forgive me for justifying my sin in light of this broken world. Guard my mind, my ears, my hands and my mouth.  Teach me to be a true friend.  Allow me to encourage through both honesty and kindness.  You are gracious and forgiving.  Please also help me, in my brokenness, to forgive those who have lied to and about me.  In Jesus’ Name I pray.  Amen.

Now our challenge is to PRACTICE being honest.  Form a new habit.

Speak. With. Integrity.