A Real Life Candy Crush Saga.

I love Candy Crush!  I have this secret side of me that is a 14 yr old gamer boy at heart.  And this is my kind of game.  So, at the end of my busy days, I’d get the kids to bed, and, while Steve was working on dinner, I’d sink into my favorite spot with a glass of wine and my iPhone.  I waited for it, and, in that moment, all was right in my world.

A few months in, though, and I had this nagging feeling I needed to delete my Candy Crush Saga…But, to be clear, that just wasn’t going to be happening.  So I pushed the feeling way down deep inside, out of reach.  Then I closed the door to it and nailed it shut.  The end.

One afternoon, I was going through chapter 2 of “What Happen’s When Women Say Yes to God” by Lysa TerKeurst.  This section is called “Hearing God’s Voice”.  I was reading the words on the pages, but my mind would not stop scrolling through all the things that I’d been hearing from the Lord to do, but hadn’t yet.  Finally, I stopped reading, and quickly jotted down a mini list of those things tugging at my heart.  Regrettably, deleting Candy Crush was on it.

So there it was, pulled out of the dungeon of my subconscious, staring at me from the side margin of my book: Delete my favorite thing.

I’d been doing all manner of following through on stuff this year, but this one was extra hard.  After all, I did not sit around gaming all day long.  I never neglected my kids, my responsibilities, or showering because of this little app.  In fact, it was my one my very few indulgences in life – Period.

So why in the world would God need to take this from me?  I didn’t see the point, and it felt rather cruel.  Throughout that day, I had an ongoing conversation with Him.  I asked repeatedly:

“Why this?”

And slowly but surely I started hearing, “In those scarce, precious and still, wind-down moments of your day, there is a lot I want to say to you and show you.  This game is cheating you from that.  I really do have more to offer.”

Then, in the midst of folding laundry and picking up after the kids, I gathered an unexpected minute of courage.  I decided, OK, let’s do this.  It’s like ripping off a bandaid, No?  Do it NOW, quickly, before you chicken out!

I held down that big button and all of those little apps starting shaking around on my screen.  I literally took a breath, and tapped that Candy Crush Icon with a purposeful finger.  Comically, what happened next nearly sent me over the edge.  A screen popped up:

“ARE YOU SURE?  YOU WILL LOSE ALL SAVED DATA ON THIS GAME.”

No no no!  I’d completed more than 150 hard-earned levels!  I realized in that moment that I secretly hoped if I was obedient and deleted it, God might just give it back to me later.  But, alas, this would be a final decision.

I sat there looking at my phone for a ridiculously long time, then – Finally.

Let go.

And clicked delete.

It was shockingly hard.  And I was pretty mad at God for this one.

When Steve got home that night I sat down and actually cried as I told him what I’d done and why.  It’s such a small thing, but it represented something that was all mine, something insignificant that I really loved, and it was gone.  After all I’d been doing for the Lord that had felt so sacrificial, I didn’t understand this move.  As I literally cried over an app, I knew I was being ridiculous, but I also saw just how much of a hold on me it truly had.  I was now willing to accept God had a plan.

The next morning I started reading chapter 3 of my study.  It was aptly entitled: “When Obedience Becomes Radical”.  The very first words on the page retold when the author’s personal journey of radical obedience began.  She was at a conference where the speaker challenged those attending to ask God to use them in an extraordinary way for His Kingdom.  As she prayed that evening, God told her to do 2 things.  One of them was to give up TV.  This is what she writes:

“As I prayed, I felt God telling me why the TV had to go.  I enjoyed sitting down after a tiresome day and being entertained.  God showed me that I was vulnerable and empty during those times.  It wasn’t that what I was watching was bad – it just wasn’t God’s best… I knew it would be hard to break this habit, but I was determined to ask God for the strength to do so.  I prayed that my desire to please Him would be stronger than my desire for television.”

That was exactly what I knew God had said to me the day before about my personal indulgence.  As I read those words, I nearly fell out of my bed.  It felt like she was telling my story.  I’d asked God to use me in a big way for His kingdom and I’d been on a journey of picking up trash ever since.  I could see now that Candy Crush was a strategic decision that I had to make in midst of this process.

This book was talking directly to me about the things I’d been doing and wanted to be doing better.  I felt I needed to know more about the person writing it.  It was in those brief moments of internet research, that I came across a youtube video Lysa had done about coming “Unglued”.  That video was what God used to plant the idea in my head to “Be Joshua” (See: I Got Your Back).  And that day was the start of a huge turning point for me.  Deleting this game was the Prequel to my breakthrough moment.

I gave up Candy Crush and the next morning God gave me the most amazing ride of my life in return.

So what is your Candy Crush?

You’re reading this blog, on this day, regarding this topic – FOR A REASON.  Go ahead.  Rip that bandaid off.  You think you know what’s best for you?  Trust me, I get that, but if God is telling you to do something – no matter how hard it is – there’s a morning of breakthrough just around the corner.  You can count on it.